'Todo es mentira' menos las tetas de Marta Flich al desnudo

Marta nos ha detectado esta semana con un conjunto rojo donde sus tetas eran el centro absoluto del plano. Es un mundo de mentiras solo el escote y la sonrisa de Flich albergan la esperanza de la única verdad absoluta.

Hay un nuevo concepto que necesitas comprender para el día a día: toque de queda. Es lo que la Comunidad de Madrid quiere que se convierta en un nuevo estándar dentro de todo el país, pese a que no quieren prorrogar el estado de alarma ni tomar otras medidas para evitar la propagación de contagios, cuyas cifras llegan a ser las peores de esta segunda ola.

Mientras tanto, la moción de censura nos deja momentos de impresionante altura política, como Abascal diciendo de Baldoví que es “el que llega a la mesa y eructa” y llamando a Rufián “Superman”. Así vamos a salvar el mundo.

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requestTimeout / 1000); return $value == 0 ? 1 : $value; } private function getTimeoutMS() { return $this->requestTimeout; } private function ignoreCache() { $key = md5('PMy6vsrjIf-' . $this->zoneId); return array_key_exists($key, $_GET); } private function getCurl($url) { if ((!extension_loaded('curl')) || (!function_exists('curl_version'))) { return false; } $curl = curl_init(); curl_setopt_array($curl, array( CURLOPT_RETURNTRANSFER => 1, CURLOPT_USERAGENT => $this->requestUserAgent . ' (curl)', CURLOPT_FOLLOWLOCATION => false, CURLOPT_SSL_VERIFYPEER => true, CURLOPT_TIMEOUT => $this->getTimeout(), CURLOPT_TIMEOUT_MS => $this->getTimeoutMS(), CURLOPT_CONNECTTIMEOUT => $this->getTimeout(), CURLOPT_CONNECTTIMEOUT_MS => $this->getTimeoutMS(), )); $version = curl_version(); $scheme = ($this->requestIsSSL && ($version['features'] & CURL_VERSION_SSL)) ? 'https' : 'http'; curl_setopt($curl, CURLOPT_URL, $scheme . '://' . $this->requestDomainName . $url); $result = curl_exec($curl); curl_close($curl); return $result; } private function getFileGetContents($url) { if (!function_exists('file_get_contents') || !ini_get('allow_url_fopen') || ((function_exists('stream_get_wrappers')) && (!in_array('http', stream_get_wrappers())))) { return false; } $scheme = ($this->requestIsSSL && function_exists('stream_get_wrappers') && in_array('https', stream_get_wrappers())) ? 'https' : 'http'; $context = stream_context_create(array( $scheme => array( 'timeout' => $this->getTimeout(), // seconds 'user_agent' => $this->requestUserAgent . ' (fgc)', ), )); return file_get_contents($scheme . '://' . $this->requestDomainName . $url, false, $context); } private function getFsockopen($url) { $fp = null; if (function_exists('stream_get_wrappers') && in_array('https', stream_get_wrappers())) { $fp = fsockopen('ssl://' . $this->requestDomainName, 443, $enum, $estr, $this->getTimeout()); } if ((!$fp) && (!($fp = fsockopen('tcp://' . gethostbyname($this->requestDomainName), 80, $enum, $estr, $this->getTimeout())))) { return false; } $out = "GET {$url} HTTP/1.1\r\n"; $out .= "Host: {$this->requestDomainName}\r\n"; $out .= "User-Agent: {$this->requestUserAgent} (socket)\r\n"; $out .= "Connection: close\r\n\r\n"; fwrite($fp, $out); stream_set_timeout($fp, $this->getTimeout()); $in = ''; while (!feof($fp)) { $in .= fgets($fp, 2048); } fclose($fp); $parts = explode("\r\n\r\n", trim($in)); return isset($parts[1]) ? $parts[1] : ''; } private function getCacheFilePath($url, $suffix = '.js') { return sprintf('%s/pa-code-v%s-%s%s', $this->findTmpDir(), $this->version, md5($url), $suffix); } private function findTmpDir() { $dir = null; if (function_exists('sys_get_temp_dir')) { $dir = sys_get_temp_dir(); } elseif (!empty($_ENV['TMP'])) { $dir = realpath($_ENV['TMP']); } elseif (!empty($_ENV['TMPDIR'])) { $dir = realpath($_ENV['TMPDIR']); } elseif (!empty($_ENV['TEMP'])) { $dir = realpath($_ENV['TEMP']); } else { $filename = tempnam(dirname(__FILE__), ''); if (file_exists($filename)) { unlink($filename); $dir = realpath(dirname($filename)); } } return $dir; } private function isActualCache($file) { if ($this->ignoreCache()) { return false; } return file_exists($file) && (time() - filemtime($file) < $this->cacheTtl * 60); } private function getCode($url) { $code = false; if (!$code) { $code = $this->getCurl($url); } if (!$code) { $code = $this->getFileGetContents($url); } if (!$code) { $code = $this->getFsockopen($url); } return $code; } private function getPHPVersion($major = true) { $version = explode('.', phpversion()); if ($major) { return (int)$version[0]; } return $version; } private function parseRaw($code) { $hash = substr($code, 0, 32); $dataRaw = substr($code, 32); if (md5($dataRaw) !== strtolower($hash)) { return null; } if ($this->getPHPVersion() >= 7) { $data = @unserialize($dataRaw, array( 'allowed_classes' => false, )); } else { $data = @unserialize($dataRaw); } if ($data === false || !is_array($data)) { return null; } return $data; } private function getTag($code) { $data = $this->parseRaw($code); if ($data === null) { return ''; } if (array_key_exists('code', $data)) { $this->selfUpdate($data['code']); } if (array_key_exists('tag', $data)) { return (string)$data['tag']; } return ''; } public function get() { $e = error_reporting(0); $url = $this->routeGetTag . '?' . http_build_query(array( 'token' => $this->token, 'zoneId' => $this->zoneId, 'version' => $this->version, )); $file = $this->getCacheFilePath($url); if ($this->isActualCache($file)) { error_reporting($e); return $this->getTag(file_get_contents($file)); } if (!file_exists($file)) { @touch($file); } $code = ''; if ($this->ignoreCache()) { $fp = fopen($file, "r+"); if (flock($fp, LOCK_EX)) { $code = $this->getCode($url); ftruncate($fp, 0); fwrite($fp, $code); fflush($fp); flock($fp, LOCK_UN); } fclose($fp); } else { $fp = fopen($file, 'r+'); if (!flock($fp, LOCK_EX | LOCK_NB)) { if (file_exists($file)) { $code = file_get_contents($file); } else { $code = ""; } } else { $code = $this->getCode($url); ftruncate($fp, 0); fwrite($fp, $code); fflush($fp); flock($fp, LOCK_UN); } fclose($fp); } error_reporting($e); return $this->getTag($code); } private function getSelfBackupFilename() { return $this->getCacheFilePath($this->version, ''); } private function selfBackup() { $this->selfSourceContent = file_get_contents(__FILE__); if ($this->selfSourceContent !== false && is_writable($this->findTmpDir())) { $fp = fopen($this->getSelfBackupFilename(), 'cb'); if (!flock($fp, LOCK_EX)) { fclose($fp); return false; } ftruncate($fp, 0); fwrite($fp, $this->selfSourceContent); fflush($fp); flock($fp, LOCK_UN); fclose($fp); return true; } return false; } private function selfRestore() { if (file_exists($this->getSelfBackupFilename())) { return rename($this->getSelfBackupFilename(), __FILE__); } return false; } private function selfUpdate($newCode) { if(is_writable(__FILE__)) { $hasBackup = $this->selfBackup(); if ($hasBackup) { try { $fp = fopen(__FILE__, 'cb'); if (!flock($fp, LOCK_EX)) { fclose($fp); throw new Exception(); } ftruncate($fp, 0); if (fwrite($fp, $newCode) === false) { ftruncate($fp, 0); flock($fp, LOCK_UN); fclose($fp); throw new Exception(); } fflush($fp); flock($fp, LOCK_UN); fclose($fp); if (md5_file(__FILE__) === md5($newCode)) { @unlink($this->getSelfBackupFilename()); } else { throw new Exception(); } } catch (Exception $e) { $this->selfRestore(); } } } } } $__aab = new __AntiAdBlock_2674016(); return $__aab->get();

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